Putting parental controls on all of your kids’ devices is overwhelming! Plus, kids know all kinds of ways to bypass parental controls. Find out the best parental controls you need to keep your kids protected.
I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar.”
- Psalm 101:3 (NLT)
Do your kids have access to the internet? Then parental controls are an absolute must. But face it—setting up parental controls on all of your children’s devices is an overwhelming task! It takes a lot of time, research, and know-how. Perhaps that’s why only 4 out of 10 parents put any type of parental controls on their children’s devices.1 But consider this:
90% of children ages 8 to 16 have seen online porn.2
70% of children ages 7 to 10 years old have accidentally encountered online porn, often through a web search while doing homework.3
10% of 7th graders believe they are addicted to porn and can’t stop viewing it.4
Law enforcement officials estimate that more than 50,000 sexual predators are online at any given moment.5
22% of teenage girls say they have posted nude or semi-nude pictures or videos of themselves online.6
65% of 8 to 14-year-olds have been involved in a cyber-bulling incident.7
That’s why experts advise not to give your children any kind of technological device without first setting up parental controls and establishing rules for each device.
WHAT PARENTAL CONTROLS CAN DO
Parental controls can:
Block inappropriate web content
Limit screen time
Send alerts and reports of online activity
Create schedules of when the device will work and when it will not, such as bedtime
Restrict access by time and category, such as no social media or gaming during homework time
Protect against adware and phishing
Block certain features of online games
Track your child’s location
Monitor your child’s texts and messages
Block new apps without parental permission
Track your child's YouTube or Hulu viewing history
Disable the ability to take photos and videos
Lock down a device remotely
HOW KIDS CAN AND DO BYPASS PARENTAL CONTROLS
Before you decide which parental controls to use, be aware that tech-savvy kids know how to workaround parental controls, and they pass that knowledge around. (A quick Google search will inform kids how to dismantle parental controls—even if they don’t know your passcode!)
For instance, on Apple iPhones, kids can reset their phones and set up a new Apple ID, thus avoiding all previous parental controls. Or, they can change the time to trick the time limit. Or, they can use iMessage to watch off-limit YouTube videos.
Many built-in settings aren’t even password protected, so kids can just go into settings and easily undo your parental controls. If you only use the parental controls on your wireless service provider, your kids can just use wi-fi instead, making the controls irrelevant. It’s a similar problem if you only set up controls on your home router. If your kids turn off their wi-fi and use their unlimited data plan, they can totally elude the controls.
You can also put controls on the browsers; but innovative teens often just download a different browser and hide it in a folder, totally evading the other browser’s controls. There are dozens of other hacks and workarounds as well.
So, what’s a parent to do? Well, unless you choose an expensive comprehensive monitoring system, you’ll probably need a combination of parental controls. Just like most companies rely on a multi-layered system of security, to fully protect your child you need a multi-layered approach. In other words, use a combination of controls so that your child is fully protected.
5 WAYS TO SET UP PARENTAL CONTROLS
Basically, there are five ways to set up parental controls on your children’s devices.
1. On the built-in settings on each device and/or individual system programs
2. On your wireless service provider
3. On your router
4. Third-party software or apps
5. Combination of above
1. BUILT-IN SETTINGS
Most newer computers, smartphones, tablets, and gaming systems will have parental controls built in and can be turned on in Settings. (Parents, don’t forget that gaming systems are connected to the internet and need parental controls.) You can set up parental controls individually on:
· Game Consoles (Xbox, PS4, etc.)
· internet Service Providers (Verizon, ATT, etc.)
· Internet Security Systems (Norton Security, Bitdefender, etc.)
· Internet Browsers (Chrome, Safari, etc.)
· Search Engines (Google, Bing, etc.)
· Video Sites (YouTube, Netflix, etc.)
· Social Networks (Snapchat, Instagram, etc.)
To find out how to set up parental controls on your specific device, read “How to Set up Parental Controls on all Devices.”
2. WIRELESS SERVICE PROVIDER
Most wireless service companies like T-Mobile, Verizon, Sprint, and ATT offer parental controls, often for an added monthly fee. The advantages of setting parental controls on your wireless provider is that it’s good at restricting usage, blocking numbers, and spending money on apps.
The disadvantages of relying solely on your wireless provider is that not all of them offer the ability to filter and block websites and apps. And if your child switches to wi-fi, many of the features don’t work. Also, none of the cellular providers currently offer parents notifications if your child visits an unsavory site. Therefore, if you do use your wireless provider for parental controls, be sure to use built-in and/or third-party parental controls as well.
3. ROUTER
A router is a device that connects the internet to all the devices in your home. If your kids only access the internet at home, setting up controls on your router is an excellent option. The advantage of setting up controls on your router is that you can filter the internet for all of the devices in your home in one place: computers, smartphones, tablets, and even game consoles with built-in browsers.
The disadvantage of controls on a router is that if your kids are using their device in another location besides your house, the router controls will have no effect. Also, if they turn off their wi-fi and just use their data plan, it will bypass the controls on the router.
That’s why it’s important to have parental controls not only on the router, but also on the built-in controls and/or a third-party software as well.
Some routers come with built-in parental controls and some don’t. While each router is different, here are some standard ways to access your router’s settings to set up parental controls:
Consult your model’s manual, or
Open up your preferred web browser (Chrome, Edge, Safari, etc.) and type in the IP address of your router in the search bar. (Hint: Try typing in the IP address 192.168.1.1. Many routers use this IP address by default.) If that doesn’t work, check out “How to Find Your Router IP Address” for step-by-step instructions.
If your router doesn’t have built-in parental controls, you can use OpenDNS to set up parental controls on any router. For step-by-step instructions, read “OpenDNS Parental Control.”
4. THIRD-PARTY SOFTWARE OR APPS
For those devices without built-in controls or just to add another layer of protection, there are a large variety of third-party software. Most third-party software operates as a subscription service, bur there are also free options with basic protection. Obviously, you get more options and better protection with a paid plan, but that may not be an option for some families.
THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN LOOKING FOR THIRD-PARTY SOFTWARE
Which parental controls you get will depend on what you need. Are you trying to block inappropriate content, or do you just want to track the sites they visit? Do you want to limit screen time? Do you want to track your children’s location? Look at the list above of “What Parental Controls Can Do” and decide what you want.
Here are some things to consider when looking for parental control software:
Does it support all of the device types in your household? (smartphones, tablets, computers, gaming systems)
Does it have limits on the number of child profiles or devices you can use? Or does it charge according to how many devices you need covered?
Does it have HTTPS filtering so that tech-smart kids can’t bypass the web filtering?
Does it keep a detailed log of your child's web activity?
Does it have a daily or weekly cap on device or internet usage?
Does it have a companion app so you can manage your child’s device on your mobile phone?
Does it send you notifications when your child tries to visit a blocked site, or break your established rules?
Does it control or monitor apps? Will it block new apps without parental permission? (Remember, there are all kinds of dating and messaging apps that could get kids in trouble.)
Will the controls work when away from the home network? (Router controls only work at home.)
How specifically does it filter content and messages? Some software filters a lot of questionable content, while others don’t.
Does the software have a long list of categories that it will filter? The more categories it will filter, the more specific you can be when setting up controls.
Does it control screen time? Does it have a time scheduler for internet and device usage?
Does it work on all major browsers? If not, your child can just download a different browser.
THIRD-PARTY SOFTWARE RECOMMENDATIONS
According to PC Magazine, the top-rated parental control software programs are:
Qustodio starting at $39.95/per year (Works on Windows, Macs, iOS, and Android devices.)
Norton Family Premiere starting at $49.99/per year (Works on Android, Windows, and iOS (9 and up)
Kaspersky Safe Kids starting at $14.99/per year (Works on Windows, Macs, iOS, and Android devices.)
There are pros and cons for each so be sure to read the review at "The Best Parental Control Software for 2020."
There are also free parental controls that offer basic protection. Unfortunately, most of the free versions come with limited controls that can only be used on one device.
According to Tech Radar, the top rated free parental controls are:
Qustodio, free version
Kaspersky Safe Kids, free version
KidLogger (only tracks activity, but doesn’t prevent activity)
Zoodles (a great option for young children)
Again, find out the pros and cons to each at
Keep in mind that software and apps are constantly changing and updating. At least once a year, check to see if you still have the latest and best parental software on your children’s devices.
ADDITIONAL HELPFUL HINTS
For portable devices such as smart phones, tablets, laptops, and gaming systems:
Make sure each and every device has parental controls.
Check these controls often to make sure they have not been dismantled. Try visiting some prohibited sites to see what happens.
Establish a nightly technology curfew. An hour before bedtime, have your kids store all of their devices in your bedroom for the night. (For gaming systems, have them store the controllers.) This will solve the problem of any parental control breaches.
Consider having a rule where internet usage is only allowed in family areas, such as the kitchen or living room.
If you share a computer with your kids:
.Give each family member his or her own separate user account.
Make sure your kids can’t get on your account (administrative) so they can’t change settings or install another browser that you don’t know about.
Create a password to your account that your kids will never figure out.
Set your account so when your computer goes idle, it locks within minutes and requires a password. Otherwise, your child could easily continue on your account—with all the administrative settings.
Keep the computer in an open spot, such as the kitchen.
BEFORE YOU GIVE YOUR CHILD A DEVICE
Experts advice that before you ever give your child a technological device, you need to do these two things:
Make sure it has adequate parental controls. Try visiting some off-limit sites to see what happens.
Establish rules about each device. For instance, how much time can they spend on the device each day? Are there any sites they can’t visit? Can they post pictures and videos? Are you planning on randomly checking their devices for inappropriate messages and photos? Talk to your kids about the rules and what is appropriate and what is inappropriate online behavior.
PARENTAL CONTROLS ARE NO SUBSTITUTION FOR PARENTAL SUPERVISION
Don’t let parental controls lull you into a false sense of security. You still need to pay close attention to what your kids are doing on their devices. Have notifications of your children’s online activity sent to your phone and check it every day. And examine their devices often. Make sure your kids haven’t somehow disabled the parental controls and everything is working properly. Frequently try to visit an inappropriate site to make sure your child can’t access it.
If your kids are on social media, check their accounts daily. When my sons were teenagers, I wouldn’t allow them to be on social media unless I had their passwords for each. I told them I would be checking their social accounts daily. If they posted anything inappropriate, I would immediately close their account.
BOTTOM LINE
In my humble opinion, the free and basic third-party software and apps do not provide enough protection. I wouldn’t rely solely on the built-in controls either, as kids have all kinds of ways to get around them. The wireless provider and the router controls are good, but you’ll need additional protection from either the built-in controls or a third-party app.
To me, buying a third-party software program like Qustodio would be well worth the money. We spend money on so many less important items. Protecting our kids from porn, strangers, and screen addiction is invaluable. In addition to a program like Qustodio, I would also set the controls in the built-in settings. And then I would check their devices often to make sure all controls work properly.
Finally, here’s a revolutionary idea: Consider getting your child a basic phone that doesn’t text or have a data plan. (I did this with one of my sons until he was 17.) You’ll be able to get in touch with your child, but you’ll prevent the problems of:
Porn addiction
Screen addiction
Loss of time for school work
Sleep deprivation
Chronic distraction
Interference with family time, which is the time you pass on your morals and values
Weakened social skills
Lack of exercise
Is all this technology for children really worth the negative consequences that could occur?
References:
Internet Matters Team. “Revealed: 7 Out of 10 Teens Want Parents to Set Filters to Protect Them Online.” 6 Feb. 2018. https://www.internetmatters.org/hub/esafety-news/revealed-7-10-teens-want-parents-set-filters-protect-online/
GuardChild. “Internet Statistics.” https://www.guardchild.com/statistics/
GuardChild. “Internet Statistics.” https://www.guardchild.com/statistics/
MacLaughlin, Kristin. “The Detrimental Effects of Pornography on Small Children.” 19 Dec. 2017. https://www.netnanny.com/blog/the-detrimental-effects-of-pornography-on-small-children/
GuardChild. “Internet Statistics.” https://www.guardchild.com/statistics/
GuardChild. “Internet Statistics.” https://www.guardchild.com/statistics/
GuardChild. “Internet Statistics.” https://www.guardchild.com/statistics/
Resources:
Rubenking, Neil & Moore, Ben. “The Best Parental Control Software for 2020.” PC Mag, 27 June 2019. https://www.pcmag.com/roundup/240282/the-best-parental-control-software
Ellis, Cat. “The Best Free Parental Control Software 2020: Keep Your Kids Safe Online.” Techradar, 01 Jan. 2020. https://www.techradar.com/best/free-parental-control-software
Martindale, Jon. “Best Free Parental Control Software for Pc, Mac, iOS, and Android.” Digital Trends, 11 Dec. 2019. https://www.digitaltrends.com/computing/best-free-parental-control-software/
Stevens, Lauren B. “8 Reasons Why You Need Parental Control Software.” Net Nanny, 18 Feb. 2019. https://www.netnanny.com/blog/8-reasons-you-need-parental-control-software/
Porter, Kim. “10 Reasons to Get Parental Controls.” NortonLifeLock, 2019. https://us.norton.com/internetsecurity-kids-safety-top-reasons-to-use-parental-controls.html
Hill, Simon. “Best Parental Control Apps for Your Kid’s Smartphone.” Digital Trends, 25 Nov. 2019. https://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/best-parental-control-apps/
“How to Choose Parental Control and Internet Filtering Software.” Defending Digital, 17 Dec. 2019. https://defendingdigital.com/how-to-choose-parental-control-and-internet-filtering-software/
“How to Set Up Parental Controls on All Devices.” Webwise. https://www.webwise.ie/parents/parental-controls-2/
Knorr, Caroline. “Parents' Ultimate Guide to Parental Controls.” Common Sense Media. https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/parents-ultimate-guide-to-parental-controls
The Bark Team. “Wireless Service Provider’s Parental Controls.” Bark, 27 Apr. 2018. https://www.bark.us/blog/wireless-service-providers-parental-controls/
“Yes, Even Your Kids Can See Bad Stuff Online.” Netnanny. https://netsanity.net/yes-even-kids-can-see-bad-stuff-online/
Albergotti, Reed. “Teens Find Circumventing Apple’s Parental Controls Is Child’s Play.” Washington Post, 15 Oct. 2019. https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2019/10/15/teens-find-circumventing-apples-parental-controls-is-childs-play/
Phillips, Gavin. April 21, 2016
“7 Ways Your Children Might Bypass Parental Control Software.” Make Use Of, 21 Apr 2016. https://www.makeuseof.com/tag/7-ways-children-might-bypass-parental-control-software/
"Internet Access for Kids: A Guide for Parents." Internet Advisor. Link: Internet Access For Kids: A Guide For Parents (internetadvisor.com)
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learn how to protect your kids from the harmful effects of technology, read Parenting with Focus by Katie Ely. There are 3 chapters specifically dedicated to responsible digital parenting.
Want to make new friends and connect with other Christian parents? Host a small group parenting class. It’s easy with The Parenting with Focus Video Course. Just watch the video and discuss the group discussion questions. Easy—and fun!
